Wednesday, 10 May 2017

The boob (job) diaries

Tuesday 9th May 2017

Today Is my surgery day!!!! By the time I go to bed tonight I will have something that resembles breasts and will no longer have a concave chest... oh and I get to have a general anaesthetic- all I do is win win win!! 

My hospital bag (case) is once again packed and I've shaved and tanned and got my lace knickers ready and also a tonne of magazines and a selection of nail varnish, urgh that's probably the worst bit- no varnish allowed ... although Hollie is on stand by to re paint as soon of physically possible.

I have around 45mins to eat as many sweets as I can before I'm Nil by mouth but at least I can keep the tea coming until 6am... I don't think I'm nervous about the actual surgery, I'm fairly laid back about that, although I wish I'd discovered that my softies look great when sewn into a lace bralet (thanks Rhian) typical Aimee style I only discovered this 2 bloody weeks ago... obviously I want boobs so my clothes fit better, I'm just not looking forward to the frequent visits to the breast clinic to get them pumped up, going there just brings back horrible memories.... to be completely  100% honest I can wait to have a GA....

Tuesday 9th May 0830am 
So today's the day!! I've just been taken through to the waiting area, Arrons had to leave as it's female only, which to be honest is bloody stupid and totally heartless, I could be waiting here all day, on my own, and it's not like I'm only having my bloody tonsils out.... there's another girl here too who looks like she might cry, not sure what she's having done, I really think they should sort this out, it's not good for a girls anxiety. We've been through the basics, am I who I should be? Am I having the correct surgery, check check check, so now I just need my gown, stockings and to see the surgeon. I really hope I'm first on the list or today is going to be dull, ooh the nurse has picked up a huge pile of notes, must be mine...

Yep they were mine, I'm now suited and booted in a lovely gown and dressing gown, complete with a "wrist" band around my ankle. Bye bye flat chest... hello flatish/rock hard/ swollen/painful expanders... still have no idea where I am on the list (please be first please be first) but I have to lock everything away now, including my phone, 

See you on the other side ......




It's all done!!! All went ok and this time I dont even remember them taking the tube out of my throat -get in! I had the standard post anaesthetic melt down in recovery and then passed out, woke up again crying in pain, had a blast on some morphine and passed out again, next thing I know its 1430pm ish and i'm on the ward in a more comfy bed with the nurse telling me that she's called Arron to let him know that I'm ok and he can visit later.

Phew all done, bloody hell my chest hurts!! Keep that morphine coming!! I've had a quick peek to me they look massive but obviously they're not, I think I might even have some sort of uni boob situation going on ....



Considering how small they are they bloody hurt, sort of like a burning sensation and the skin feels so tight, I'm scared to move in case it splits open !!

They nurses have so far been really nice - drugs and tea on tap, and there's only 3 other women on the ward so I should be in for a good night...

Arrons been to visit and brought all of he essentials - sweets, sweet and salty popcorn, sushi and oranges so looks like I'm good to go for the night. Deb Fletch also came to visit, I can't really remember what we were talking about it was all a bit of a haze. Well they've both left now, I've had my codeine so I'm going to try and see if I can position my phone to be able to get some sort of signal....

Wednesday 10th May 0220am
So much for a quiet night, between observation and med rounds there's not much sleep going on, plus my poor neighbor in the next bed clearly has dementia and so she's very confused, wanting assistance but unable to use her call bell and is reliant on us 3 to help, bless her I feel for her. Just had my obs done, BP is in my boots which makes a nice change actually... must try and sleep...

Lights full on, observations again... but this time I got a massive mug of tea so although I probably had 2 hours sleep I'm pretty happy, plus I think I might be able to go home today!! 
Well I started falling to sleep having finally found my happy place (6 pillows and the profile bed raised head and feet) and the sodding Matron came in bloody singing at 830am -brilliant. My surgeon came round around 9am and gave me the ok to go home with a few do's and dont's (champagne drinking is vital, no driving or housework for me -his words not mine), they must be desperate for beds because if only nipped to the toilet and when I came back my bed was stripped and the nurse was waiting to give me my discharge paperwork! Think I'd better call Arron!!

Home sweet home ! Nice new clean PJs on, along with my lovely stockings, a quick hi to Fabio and Denzel and it's straight to bed for me - I still have a lot of TV to catch up on from vacay.

Think I managed 20mins of Scandal and passed out to be woken up by Hollie, Lolaah and George, happy Aunty Aimee! Now they're gone, I've had a nap and my god I'm in pain, feels like my chest is burning, cancer side is a lot more painful than the right side, Jesus. Think I'm over tired and fed up and I just can't get comfortable...

Thursday 11th May 0600am
Another crap night sleep, so uncomfortable but not wanting to move because that brings pain and also I don't want Arron to wake up as he has to go to work today, that being said I'm wishing the time away so that his alarm goes off and I can have a cup of tea and some squash! ...maybe I should accidentally kick him...

Managed to sleep! 10am - 2pm! Whoop whoop! Then my friend Wendy came over which was lovely until Denzel jumped on me and kicked me in the tit - ouch, I would have thought by now that I'd be more comfortable but no such luck. I do have the perfect excuse for eating in bed though...

Friday 12th May 0345am
I literally have no idea why my body hates me so much, takes ages to re arrange all the bloody pillows to get some what comfortable and then if it's not my bladder it's a hot flush, can't stop crying and don't want to wake Arron because he has to go to work again tomorrow, I'm meant to be going to my mom and sisters tomorrow but I don't even think I could stand the car ride and now I'm full of cold... starting to wish I'd not even bothered with reconstruction. If this is the "good part" as everyone insists on telling me, well, they're all on crack obviously.

Didn't make it out of my house, slept on and off all day, but actually ventured downstairs too and made a drink! Have finally caught up on Scandal, TOWIE, Eastenders, and Geordie Shore, now I'm mixing it up with The Affair and OITNB season 4.  Hoping tomorrow will be better, think I might have a few people coming over. 

Saturday 12th May 15:08
Awh this morning I woke up to a beautiful bunch of flowers from my Sammy and a package off Rebecca containing PJs, a heart shaped pillow, sports bras and sweets. OH MY GOD what a difference the bra and pillow have made!! I can actually lie for a while quite comfortably, so that's what I've done! Still very swollen and I sound like a half filled hot water bottle, I have an alarm for analgesia time ..... bored now...

Andrea came to visit this afternoon then my mom who has kindly tidied up around the house and brough me supplies so should hopefully sleep tonight, I'm getting so frustrated that I can't do anything but sit around. Somehow tonight I have to try and wash my hair over the bath.. ouch... might have a glass of cava first ....

Ok so the cava wasn't my greatest idea, I washed my hair over the bath and threw up and now my chest hurts from straining, but at least now my hairs clean and I look less like a homeless person. Pills popped and now I'm going to watch some Netflix.

Sunday 14th May 23:05
Happy Birthday Lolaah!! I've had such a lovely day, we went over to Tamworth for Lolaahs birthday party and it was so lovely to see everyone -dad, brother, kids, aunties, cousins, Arrons family, but to say that I'm tired is an understatement, I think in future all visitors will have to come to me. I'm back at my usual place of residence - in bed with 8 pillows and a bucket of tea, Sleeping pills are kicking in now zzzzzzz

Monday 15th May 21:30
Arrons had to work in London today so he dropped me off at Hollies this morning, so today I've pretty much lay on her sofa, drank tea and watched Greys Anatomy! Back home now and I'm shattered, maybe I've overdone it, well if that means sitting down at Lolaahs bday party all day and getting in the car to go to Hollies today then yeah I have! Fletcher you crazy woman, I mean come on, this is getting frustrating now. I do have some weird stabbing pains going on, particularly cancer side which is unnerving as I haven't had this kind of pain since I was diagnosed. Strangely when I had them chopped off I only got phantom pains but this pain I've not had since chemo. Maybe I ought to rest... yawn ....

Tuesday 16th May 16:45
I've had my boobs a whole week!! Yippee!! They're getting less painful (stabbing pain has stopped thankfully), and I can move a bit more freely. I have my check up tomorrow at the breast clinic, and I'm hoping that she'll say that I can drive. My clothes look soooo much better with boobs, even though they're only tiny it makes a huge difference,




My current situation is that I'm home alone and I've ran out of milk!! Bad bad times... hurry up home Iliffe. 
I've pretty much caught up on my TV and so now I'm on the hunt for a new series (all suggestions welcome) although I heard a rumour that Ex on the beach and Love island will be starting soon.... but now I have a problem. A big problem.

Internet shopping. Dam you. Why is it that when your skint (as in statuary sick pay skint) you find loads of things hat you need? It doesn't help that my Facebook news feed keeps suggesting thing that I might like from ASOS and Instagram is full of prettiness. I thought I could divert these feelings and watch some KUWTK but no. Now I'm obsessed with owning a pain of Good American (good legs obvs) jeans! No, I must be good, even though I know that I deserve nice things we have a wedding to somehow pay for..... although if I brought the jeans then there probably wouldn't be a wedding to even pay for.....