Tuesday 4 April 2017

What is normal?

Three years ago everything was fabulous (well in rose tinted glasses looking back now it feels like it was but no doubt I was in a mood about something), one thing was for sure, I wasn't bloody ill.

3 bloody years, that's a hell of a long time. I didn't have a clue about the shit storm that was about to explode all over my life, wow, things back then were so different... the only medication I was taking was pregnacare...

Three years on I feel like my life is a constant stream of worry, uncertainty, niggling feelings, hospital appointments and cancer, bloody cancer. 

Three years is a long time, I think I was so naive to think all would be fine after radiotherapy, who knew about bloody menopause - the mood swings, hot flashes, aching bones, scans, follow up appointments, a regular immense shame during the night, stupid bleeding lymphedema arm, and if that's not bad enough, no I have to fracture my bloody leg and 12 MONTHS on it's still being a pain in the absolute arse.

Oh and then I go and trip over Denzel and hurt my knee. Brilliant. 

3 bloody years.

Imagine waking up and not having had cancer or any of the bullshit that follows,

Must be amazing.

Tomorrow I'll try not to be as moody, or angry.