2018 what happens next

So far...so good...I guess ....so why does it feel like a ticking time bomb? 3 + years since it all “ended” and yet the end sight feels light years away. It’s over isn’t it? I should be moving on.... how is that even possible when every little little thing takes me back to that place, tired? Must be cancer, back ache from sleeping in a tent - must be bone mets, gum that won’t heal - must be cancer, ache in the back of my heel - must be cancer ...

Sounds stupid right?

So did a tiny indent in my left breast months after loosing my baby.

Is this my life now, yes.