Tuesday, 22 September 2015


Don't get me wrong I'm not thankful for C, not even a little bit and if I could change the last 18 months then I would, in a heart beat. BUT I am so greatful that these girls came into my life. 

Thrust into a dark place I'd never felt so alone, my life as I knew it had gone, no one understood, as hard as they tried they couldn't. Everyone else could go to bed at night and forget about C, no one else woke up in the middle of the night (having spent hours trying to sleep) preying it was a bad dream then having their stomachs turn when they realise, yep you have it, yep there's a possibility that you might die.

Then I met 6 fabulous gorgeous women who turned this crap around. There aren't enough words, these women have been holding my hand throughout. I wish I could see our first conversation but there are around 30k messages and I can't skip to the beginning, no doubt kt was something explicit and piss taking. We certainly thought (and think)that we're kool with a K -Andreas daughter however has a different opinion....

I don't think a day has gone by where we haven't spoke, we talk all day and night and through dark times it's all through the night. I can say anything to them and they get it, there's no filter, there's no trying to put a good spin on things, well, sometimes there is, if we're feeling particularly bitchy. It's a private little world and I can't imagine my life without them.

It's rarely doom and gloom, in fact it's quite the opposite, during active treatment we shared ALOT of pictures, some, apparently were quite hard to determine what they were, cough Andrea...I had a reaction to radiotheraphy and was trying to take a picture of my chest when the camera went off too quickly and took a picture of my kitchen floor... Andrea however thought that I'd reacted so badly I turned into ceramic tiles...

Still makes me laugh... So glad I'm not the only "blonde" of the group....

Tattoos are discussed quite frequently-to begin with we had trouble deciding on the right one...

There were a few contenders and Rebecca has kick started it for us, I'm still debating whether to change my name..

Every hospital appointment/scan is discussed, even whilst in the waiting room, I really don't know what I would do without them,

They were the first people I told about my "bone mets", I knew they would know what to say and I knew that they would make things ok,

In fact seconds after sending this I got a call from Rosie.

Rosie and Jojo, we miss them every day, tears are falling now. I cherish our memories and I'm so thankful that they were a part of my life. 

I guess this proves that you can have more than one soul mate x