I was told that I have bone metastasis.
There's no chance of injecting any humour to this. It is incurable. It is Stage 4. No amount of pleading or preying or crying will take it away. It is my new nightmare.
I wish it was 72 hours ago. I was ignorant , I had the possibility of a future -hard to imagine but possible, there was still a chance that it was all gone forever. I was starting to think about a new normal. I'd fell in love with a house to buy. I was starting to smile and laugh most days, the crying was less frequent.
And now I am suffocating under the weight of the unknown, I am walking around in a daze. Do I make a bucket list? Who do I have to inform? What can or can't I do? When will I have a bone biopsy?
So many questions but maybe for now I just need to breath.
If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.
ReplyDeleteYour a fighter and although I can't change your diagnosis and tell you everything will be fine, I can pray for you and tell you from a fellow breast cancer survivor that you made an impact on me and probably thousands of other people with your photo and the harsh reality of breast cancer. People have no idea what it's like to have the one thing that us women value the most physically, cut from our body. It's a whole lifestyle change in more ways than one. I'm so glad that I read this article about you on fb and shame on those who make up fake charities. Your in my thoughts and prayers and I belie in the power of prayer. I hope you do too. Take care.☺️
*believe
ReplyDeleteHi I also was diagnosed with breast cancer last October. Leading up to when I started to have symptoms I was severely stressed, not getting enough sleep and eating crap. Just not looking after myself. I did the exact opposite once I was diagnosed. I've been through chemo. FEC wasn't too bad but the Docetaxel was pure shit. I had a single mastectomy two weeks ago and am waiting on radiotherapy.
ReplyDeletePositive success stories have helped me. I don't know if this will help or what your doctors have offered you but, a friend of mine's sister in law had it spread to her bones. She had intensive chemo and her immune system stripped and rebuilt. Something about using her own stem cells. She's just been told she's in remission.
A friend at work's friend had the breast cancer gene but ended up getting colon cancer instead, that then spread to her liver. She's recently been told she's in remission.
Noone can predict what your body will do or your treatment, but there are others out there that have made it to remission.
Sara, what your friend had was a stem cell transplant. My brother had stage IV CNS cancer, they got rid of the tumours via chemo, then he had a stem cell transplant, using stem cells harvested from his own bone marrow. He has now been disease free for over 4 years!
DeleteI'm praying for you. I'm in your corner.
ReplyDeleteHi, my grandma has had breast cancer with bone mets for over 15 years; she had to stop taking chemo because of a severe allergy reaction...there are days she spends in bed beacuse of pain but there are also days which she spends on her allotment, baking, looking after her great-grandchildren; she couldn't take it away but she somehow manages to live with it...
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