Monday, 9 November 2015

Here we go again

Is it or isn't it? Well I guess I should find out once and for all tomorrow…


2014
bone scan clear
CT clear but picked up something on my spine so I had an MRI
MRI clear (classed as wear/tear)

2015 finished active treatment
Bone scan clear 
CT showed same on my spine and also pelvis 
MRI confirmed these findings

Diagnosed with bone mets and commenced on monthly denosumab bone injections, awaiting bone biopsy of pelvis.

Pelvis biopsy came back clear (benign bony island) imaging of my spine looks the same as my pelvis.

Decision was left to me if I wanted a more detailed/specialist MRI of my spine to hopefully give me a definitive result as they are unable to obtain a biopsy of the spine (phew). The consultant was very blasé and reiterated that it does indeed look the same as my pelvis.

I decided to have the MRI.

It's tomorrow and I get the results the SAME DAY.

Crap.

Part of me wishes that I'd accepted what they told me and lived happily ever after but then the other part of me wonders what would've happened if I'd have accepted The bone metastases diagnosis and not had that biopsy my life now would be very different. 

Sigh.

I have re-read my own blog about scanxiety and yes tomorrow won't change anything, it will inform us, BUT I  still have that ball of anxiety in the back of my throat. 

What I wouldn't give to be working a 12 hour shift tomorrow.

This deserves a double finger....